An emotionally torn Labour MP has said she will always be depressed because she lost herself when her first born child died in a traffic accident.
Carolyn Harris, Deputy Leader of the Welsh Labour Party said she “didn’t function as a normal human being” for around three years.
And to this day she will “never ever” get over his death.
In a heartbreaking interview with Gloria de Piero on GB News Ms Harris said she remembers the afternoon her son died.
“It was quiet, I can picture it all now. It was horrendous,” Ms Harris said.
Martin, aged 8, had crossed the road to see his friend.
“It was just absolutely awful. I think losing Martin was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
“People would say that he wasn’t meant for this world. Well he was, he was mine, he was meant for this world.
“I think when you lose a child you can go one of two ways – you can go up, or you can go down.
“I lost Martin and plateaued for maybe three years. I didn’t even function as a normal human being.”
When she got to the hospital, the first person she saw was her vicar and all she could think about was cleaning the felt-tip pen on his hands as she didn’t want to think of him as dead.
She recalled her partner encouraging her to wash as she felt “nothing else is worth living for”.
“I think I always will be depressed… the day I lost Martin, half of me died with him and I’ll never, ever get over that and I’ll never be the person I was meant to be.
“We’ll never know what she was or who she was. The person that we’re left with is making the best out of half of what she was.”
Although she refused counselling and therapy at the time, Ms Harris admitted she is trying to ween herself off anti-depressants as she struggles with losing her family.
“I’ve always been afraid to come off them, because I was afraid I’d go back to being the person in the pink anorak with the hood up.
“Losing Martin, Martin’s funeral, then I lost my parents – I lost my dad on New Year’s Eve this year, I lost my mum in 2014 and I’m an only child.
“The first half of this year was like ‘I’m an orphan now’ and it”s horrible.”
Ms Harris has previously campaigned for the Government to scrap child burial fees.
She was forced to take out a loan to pay for her son’s burial, because the charges were so high.