‘I’ve been with my husband for 20 years but resent him for losing interest in sex’

‘I’ve been with my husband for 20 years but resent him for losing interest in sex’

Dear Coleen

I’ve hit a sexual rut with my husband. We’ve been together for 20 years and are both 44. We have a 10-year-old daughter and an eight-year-old son.

He’s just lost interest in sex and we’re lucky if we do it once a month. I know I should try to initiate things more, but I feel a bit resentful that he doesn’t want me, so I don’t bother.

Any ideas on how we can restart things? I love him and still find him very attractive.

What would you advise this reader to do? Have your say in the comment section

Coleen Nolan is the Mirror’s resident agony aunt

Coleen says

I think you need to drop the game playing and talk to him instead. Maybe he needs to hear that you still love him and still fancy him.

People forget, especially when kids come along, that they’re also a couple and need to make time for each other.

Sex becomes a chore on top of everything else.

But every relationship needs effort and nurturing.

The conversation doesn’t have to be accusatory – explain you’re worried you’re not making time for each other any more and ask him how he feels.

He could be thinking exactly the same things as you – that you’re obviously not bothered any more.

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